If there is one thing (among others) that holds some brilliant humans otherwise on the verge of living a life of fulfilment; it’s the need to “to figure things out”. I will write some parts of this post from first person as I have lived through and come to my own understanding of a new way of being that is now available to me – living intentionally surrendered.

This need/have “to figure things out” is rooted in survival – where one’s safety was threatened as a child and this need to figure it out was a way for my little brain to keep me safe. As long as it was doing its best to figure things out – be hyper vigilant, figuring out moods/behaviour patterns of people around me, scanning the environment etc, it would keep me safe… Did it work? Absolutely. Is it serving me today? Certainly not.

We come into this world as pure possibilities and little sponges to what’s around us. We forget that we are everything and nothing at the same time. We forget that we carry the universe within us. And we start learning the limiting ways of being on planet earth. We give in to smallness and forget our own magnificence. Oh how we shrink ourselves. Oh how I made myself so small and forgot my inherent power.

For years (almost two decades in fact), I read every self help book, listened to and paid numerous coaches/teachers/gurus, sought information left and right. I was trying – trying so hard to figure it out – like I was missing something that was keeping me away from living the life I wanted so desperately at times (By the way, nothing good comes out of desperation, more on this some other time). The solution was always out of reach, like a dog chasing its own tail. There was temporary relief here and there, but nothing would bring me the fulfilment that I longed for.

However, the mind was thriving during all this time – it was becoming the master. It was literally creating this illusion of safety at the expense of peace of mind and unfulfilled desires. Because If I got those, Then what would I need the mind for. So the mind kept me hanging in the past – figuring out those limiting beliefs, may be inflict some blame here and there and keep me from accepting any personal responsibility for the misery I was feeling in the present. According to the mind and all the podcasts it had listened to and books it read, the reason for my misery in the present was to be found in the past – but I just couldn’t figure it out. And then, every so often, I would feel completely out of control and give up on all this trying, I would find relief. This is what one calls surrender.

But then, in a couple of days, the mind would be back with some new ways to keep me “safe”… It had to keep on figuring things out – okay, now you don’t want to visit the past, but then how are you going to create the future, it would ask. It would literally activate the overachiever in me, the one who had to “make it happen”. That was enough to activate and take the survival instincts to next level – the burden to control the universe now weighed heavy on my shoulders. Then eventually, I would hit another bottom and surrender. There it was – the relief of the present moment.

Are you starting to see the pattern? If you can, you are brilliant… I wasn’t so smart to see it clearly the first time, not the second or the third time… Let’s put it this way, its taken almost 17/18 years for me to see it clearly and now I rest in the sweet spot of the present moment. Some more on mind’s antics before I elaborate on this new way of being.

The mind only knows the past – its version of the past and it fabricates and strengthens those stories/beliefs the more we tell them. That’s just the basics of neuroscience. And it looks to solve any problem in the present from the lens of the past – immediately limiting one’s options and possible solutions. Ever heard of Einstein’s quote something along these lines that one cannot solve the problem from the same level of thinking that created it, one must rise to a new level of awareness/understanding where the solution exists. But mind is a master of repeating the old ways of being on repeat – what we call habits…they are simply really strong neural pathways. So the question arises, can it really figure things out and get you to your desires? The answer is a hard NO!

It makes perfect sense for the mind to keep doing what it has done – that’s what’s familiar and that’s what kept you safe. However, those ways were formed as a stress/fear response, not from a place of safety. Anything from a fear response is a limited way of being and we close ourselves off to limitless possibilities that are available to us. In fact, in the fear response, we aren’t even aware of those possibilities. They are beyond mind’s comprehension. So we must learn to become the master and have the mind as a faithful servant. We can learn to operate from the awareness that goes beyond the realms of the mind.

While I can get into finer details here, that’s not the point of this post. It is to introduce a new way of being – intentionally surrendered. A being who knows what they want, are clear on what they are creating in their life and yet do not-a-thing to make anything happen by relying on the mind. In fact, surrendering requires giving up the mind completely. It’s easier said than done, I get that. However, with a sincere willingness to change, it is possible to live that way. One needs to be aware of the workings of their mind and constantly keep surrendering the mind and keep going beyond it.

There are some pointers I would leave you with that can assist you in making this new way of being second nature:

• cultivating safety within.
• a regulated nervous system (at least keep coming back to regulation when dis-regulated… life is happening only always and old ways of being are generally available to default to, at least in the beginning).
• having the mind as the servant, not the master.
• not trust everything the mind is saying to you about you and others.
• strengthening one’s connection with the Source/God/higher self… whatever you call it.
• being relaxed and easy about things. Easy really does it.
• lightheartedness – there is nothing serious going on here! Get the cosmic joke – you are everything and nothing at the same time.
• Trust – self trust.
• Own your power (not force). It’s within you, don’t outsource it to some guru/coach.

To sum it up, you want something – let it go/surrender and go on about your day. There are many things that I have only thought once, and they have happened – some within the day, some in years. I only remembered wanting those things after I had those in my experience. Universe is responding to your energy only always. There is no need to keep reminding the universe of what you want – once you have a desire – say thank you and give it up. if you keep reminding by repeating – you are affirming lack of it.

Go figure!