I have had a lot come up lately and that has been absolutely wonderful as I realise that the purpose of things coming up is to set me free as I have been letting go of whatever comes up. This post is also a journal entry for myself reflecting on the past few months.

My consciousness has been working things out, purging a lot and bringing a whole lot of me back to me. I feel powerful in my life for the first time. I truly feel like I am the creator of my life. For that I am grateful and humbled by how supported I am by all of life.

All changes I make are done in my consciousness and the need for physical actions is less and less. I have gone from “making it happen” to “letting it happen” in the world. For example, the last quarter was a very quiet one for me in terms of work and clients to the point I wondered if I will ever have any clients. I saw this period as a wonderful opportunity to rest in the truth of who I am – abundance at my core of being. I settled in the feeling of having all my needs been met already. It wasn’t easy at times, but I kept going back to the truth of my being.

A whole lot of fears came up and I became the observer. And then I did something else, I started acknowledging the part of me that felt so fearful and started bringing that part of me back to the truth of my being. I started looking out for any reactions I was having in my mind and I went beyond those reactions and looked at the feeling/energetic place of where these reactions were coming from. Each time, I found a scared little girl who didn’t know where her safety and security was going to come from. I held her and I talked to her. I listened to her fears and I gently guided her to give those to me, they were not hers to carry. She wasn’t responsible for figuring out how money was going to come and from where. I told her that I have got her and I am taking care of her. She needed a lot of soothing and for once I was fully present to her. She has started to trust me as I have started to trust in my true nature.

Similarly, things have come up in different areas of my life and I have been able to navigate those just the same as above which has led to parts of me being integrated leading to wholeness and harmony. This has resulted in behaviour changes overnight, old ways of showing up in the world completely transforming and opening my heart. My heart, my beautiful courageous heart – it has been a journey starting from being so closed off to life to having the courage to open and have compassion for those who hurt me and most importantly, having unconditional love for myself – who I had been and who I am today.

I understand now that the real work to be done is in my own consciousness since consciousness is the only reality that is being reflected in the physical world. I am no longer battling the physical world and trying to change it. I go within, make changes and trust that in time, physical world will reflect those changes. It’s like planting a seed and trusting it will grow in its time and season. I am no longer pushing against anything… I work with whatever shows up. If a reflection has me triggered, I work with the part of me that feels triggered and soothe her and bring her to the present moment. I truly understand that all my power lies in the present moment. All of this knowledge, I have had for a long time. However, it is now being embodied and turning into wisdom.

I am now fully embracing all of me – the human experience and who I am as a soul. It feels that both are in harmony now unlike in the past, two parts were at war with each other… victim and creator resisting each other and denying each other’s existence. Each day I grow in wholeness and love for myself and others. In fact, there are no others… I see myself in all the faces in the world. They are all an aspect of me. If I am not thrilled by something, I go straight into my consciousness and give it new instructions and trust that it will change. Some things have changed within minutes, others overnight and some are still unfolding. I am actually enjoying the journey for once. I wake up happy and look forward to the day. I suppose that’s how a creator feels now that I am owning all of who I am.

And I am appreciative of the being I am. There is so much love I have for me and I feel oh so complete.

Life is truly what we make of it!